Pregnancy and Infant loss

Today is such an important day that is not acknowledge by many people. Please light up a candle today at 7pm for the memory of all those children that are now in heaven.

I have 2 angels in heaven, even though I never got to see them, hear their hearbeat, touch them, they will always be in my heart. Every loss, doesn't matter how early it is, changes our lives forever. I will always remember the day I got my BFP, every call from the Dr, every u/s and every prayer I said for my miracle to stay with us.

On March 5, 2008 I had a D&C, I will never forget the emptiness I felt after the surgery, they had taken away my baby, I was no longer a mommy to be. I have the best husband in the world, that has been with me during this difficult time, and of course my family always beside me, giving me the strength I needed to move on and accept that God had decided to take my little baby.

I think one of the hardest day in my life, was when found out our little boy was perfectly healthy, and there was no reason why he was gone. I felt that my screwed up body killed him, which I know it was not my fault, but just the feeling that I couldn't give my baby the opportunity to live. I later found out that endometriosis makes your body produce some cells that attack the baby, which might be the reason the baby couldn't develop.

People that have never m/c, might never understand the pain that comes loosing a baby even though in such an early stage. The innocence of pregnancy is gone, and from now on I will always be scare of every appointment, every twinge, every day of the pregnancy.

I hope God has store for us a little baby down the road, and he will give us the faith and peace we need throughout the pregnancy.

Today is a special day for many people that have lost their little ones, I will light a candle and say a prayer for all those mommy's to be surprise with a miracle very soon.